The first days
Almost nothing has to happen today. The few things that do are listed first. Everything else can wait, and waiting is allowed.
What needs attention soon
Someone must take the person who died into care.
If the death happened at home and was expected, call the hospice nurse or the doctor. If it was unexpected, call 911. If it happened in a hospital or care facility, the staff handle this step and will ask you which funeral home to call. You may say you have not chosen yet. That answer is allowed, and the person who died can stay in the facility's or medical examiner's care while you decide.
Choose a funeral home, but you have more time than it feels like.
A day or two to compare is normal, and Minnesota licenses every funeral establishment, so you can check any name you are given. Prices differ more than most people expect, and you have a legal right to ask for them by phone before you go anywhere. The licensed funeral home directory lists every one in the state.
Tell the people who need to know.
Close family first. Then, in the coming days: the person's employer, and anyone who depended on them day to day. You do not have to make these calls yourself; it is normal to ask one person to spread the word.
Look for any written wishes.
A will, a preneed funeral contract, a cemetery deed, or a written funeral plan may already answer questions you are being asked. Check desks, files, and safe deposit boxes before paying for anything someone may have already paid for. If a preneed contract exists, bring it to the funeral home; the money in it is protected by Minnesota law.
What can wait days or weeks
- Death certificates. The funeral home usually orders them; ask for ten or more certified copies, because banks and insurers each want their own.
- Social Security, pensions, life insurance, and bank accounts. These calls matter, and none of them are urgent this week.
- The house, the car, the mail, the bills. Utilities do not shut off because you grieved for two weeks first.
- Probate and estate questions. Minnesota probate has no deadline measured in days. Seeing a lawyer in a few weeks is soon enough for almost every family.
- Deciding about a memorial service. A service can happen weeks or months later. Cremation or burial has to be decided sooner; the gathering does not.
What not to sign yet
Anything you have not seen a price list for.
Federal law requires every funeral home to give you an itemized general price list before you pick anything. If papers are in front of you and the price list is not, ask for the list first. That is your right, and asking is not rude.
A package, if you only want parts of it.
You may buy items one at a time. A package is only a good deal if it contains what you actually want.
Anything about the estate, insurance settlements, or waivers of claims.
Papers about money, property, or giving up rights are not funeral arrangements. They can all wait until someone you trust has read them. Nothing about the funeral requires signing them this week.
Who to call
- Expected death at home: the hospice or attending doctor. Unexpected death: 911.
- Questions about a funeral home's license or a complaint: Minnesota Department of Health, Mortuary Science Section, 651-201-4200.
- Social Security survivor questions: 1-800-772-1213 (the funeral home often reports the death for you; the survivor benefits call is yours).
- If the person was a veteran: the funeral home can help with burial benefits, or call the MN Department of Veterans Affairs, 1-888-546-5838.